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5 TELLY TALKING POINTS Celebrity Big Brother

Here's what's got me talking this week...

For me, this week has been all about one show and that's Celebrity Big Brother. After almost six years away from our screens, the hit reality show returned, this time on ITV1, almost 23 years to the day since it began as a Comic Relief spin-off in 2001 for what's already shaping up to be a classic series.

Since 2001, Celebrity Big Brother has dominated reality television and there have been many a memorable moment, including "Do you want me to be the cat?", "Yeah, Jackie" and of course "David's dead?" which has to be one of the greatest television moments of all genres and of all time.

On Monday night, as Celebrity Big Brother finally returned to our screens, first to enter the house was the magnificent Sharon Osbourne who entered as the house's first ever lodger and was closely followed by her good friend, Louis Walsh.

Entering the house shortly after were reality stars David Potts, Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu and Lauren Simon, Corrie favourite Colson Smith, Heartstopper favourite Bradley Riches, Strictly favourite Nikita Kuzmin, West End star Marisha Wallace, Kate Middleton's uncle Gary Goldsmith, businessman Levi Roots, presenter Zeze Millz and TV legend (and probable eventual winner) Fern Britton.

As a HUGE Big Brother fan, it's fair to say that on paper this was a good line-up, but after less than a week, it's proving to be a superb mix of people who are already providing some classic moments we'll still be talking about in years to come.

Sadly it's a shorter run, which means the final is due to take place on Friday 22nd March, but after its first week, here are my 5 talking points from the series so far...

1. "I've seen some terrible things."

Fern Britton's cryptic revelation before heading into the house

When TV legend turned bestselling author Fern Britton became the final housemate to enter the Celebrity Big Brother, the hope was that it wouldn't be long until she'd spill the tea when it comes to her former co-host Phillip Schofield who she fell out with in 2009, leading to her leaving This Morning.

And for those who love to read between the lines, myself included, we didn't have long to wait for Fern to comment on the drama surrounding Phillip Schofield, in fact she spilled some tea before even entering the house!

After getting out of the car, Fern walked towards hosts AJ and Will, with Will telling her "Listen Fern, you've seen a lot in your career..." to which Fern, not missing a beat, replied "I've seen some terrible things." and as you would expect, the internet (and I include myself in this) were speculating as to what she could be referring to.

And that wasn't the only 'reference' to her former co-presenter, as not long into the series, Gary Goldsmith asked Fern what she made of everything that has been going on recently with This Morning, to which she replied "Ah, I see what you're saying. Genuinely, I haven't been there for 15 years. [...] So I honestly don't know. I can't say anything. Anything I would say would be supposition and blah blah blah."

After admitting that "It was tricky at times" Fern was then taken aback after Gary mentions that it had been rumoured that Phillip Schofield would be entering the house and she says "Well, that didn't happen. Yet. Maybe he's coming in as a surprise." before awkwardly laughing and telling Gary "I might have to leave at that point", proving that there's no love lost there between her and Phil.

2. "I think she's the c-word"

Actual Sharon Osbourne in the Celebrity Big Brother house

Of course when rumours started flying around ahead of launch as to who the celebrities entering the Celebrity Big Brother house could be, one name that appeared too good to be true was Queen of Reality TV, Sharon Osbourne. But then with Louis Walsh being heavily rumoured to be going in and the stories that Sharon had negotiated her fee in such a way that meant she would only do a few nights in there, it suddenly became a lot more believable.

Then lo and behold, on launch night, who was the first person to enter the house? Sharon Osbourne! Described by hosts AJ and Will as the first ever lodger, the specifics of which - other than the fact she gets her own bedroom and bathroom, still remain a mystery.

It was heavily reported that her stay would last five days, which would mean her either leaving on Friday (7th March) or last night (Saturday 8th March) but as of yet, she's still in there and seems fairly content in there so as far as I'm concerned, long may she stay!

Not only is she providing some excellent celebrity stories/theories, for example that James Corden loves to name drop, that in her opinion Anna Wintour is a c***, and that she also can't stand DeGeneres, and Adele is putting on her English accent, but she seems geuniely interested in her fellow celebrities and isn't afraid to help out with the cleaning, tidying and washing up.

In fact, all the misconceptions one could have about Sharon Osbourne have been completely proved wrong by her behaviour in the house. Putting her private bedroom and bathroom to one side, Sharon is a team player, she doesn't walk around the house thinking she's the biggest name in there and it's so refreshing and pleaseing to see.

Regardless of how long she ends up staying in there, Sharon Osbourne is one of the greatest Celebrity Big Brother signings ever.

3. "That's Simon. He cuts you off."

Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh revealing all about The X Factor

I've already said it above, but Sharon Osbourne is a superb booking for Celebrity Big Brother, but so too is Louis Walsh. And both of them together? TV GOLD. And it makes sense that ITV were the ones to make it happen.

Only, they might have been starting to question that decision during Friday's show after the two friends seemed to forget that the cameras and mics were still on in Sharon's private bedroom as they discussed Simon Cowell, The X Factor and why they wouldn't go back if asked.

When Sharon reveals that "no money in the world" would see her return to The X Factor and that she wouldn't even meet with Simon Cowell to tell him, Louis tells her that he hasn't spoken to him either, to which Sharon replies "That's Simon. He cuts you off, cuts you off, cuts you off. He doesn't know how to keep friends."

But the tea really started to spill when Louis brought up the subject of The Masked Singer which Sharon revealed to be the reason why she's "so fucking mad with Simon" as she had to turn down the opportunity to be a judge on The Masked Singer in America because at the time her and Louis had been contracted to do The X Factor again, not knowing that the decision would soon be made to go ahead without them.

Admitting that she went mad at the decision, Sharon called out Simon's decision to change the judging line-up, pointing out that maybe it's Simon himself who needed to change, describing him to Louis as someone who "dresses the same for probably three decades".

Then came the criticism of The X Factor format itself with Sharon describing it as "the same, the same, the same" and Louis calling Simon's famous saying out - "I didn't like it, I loved it. All the same shit. What age are you? Tell me your story." and when Sharon calls it "all crap", Louis says "It was funny the first time around."

As would often be the way on The X Factor, Simon would ask contestants for another song during their audition, but Sharon revealed what we all knew already, which is how produced that all is and isn't the spontaneous moment they make it out to be.

Questioning the way it was done Sharon says "Why not be honest and say 'You know what, my producers told me you've got another song. Do you want to sing it?' Instead of 'Do you have a new song maybe?' - 'Oh yes, I just happen to have a backing track with me right here up my arse!'"

If they say and do nothing else this series, Sharon and Louis have DELIVERED.

4. "It was totally banter"

Lauren Simon reading out her and Louis Walsh's apology letter

Who would have thought a rule break in which Lauren Simon and Louis Walsh spoke about nominations would end in one of the most inadvertanely funny moments I think I've ever seen on Celebrity Big Brother? Not me!

After it was revealed to the house that Lauren and Louis had speculated that Zeze had voted for Lauren, they were both asked to make their way into the garden where they had to sit inside the Celebrity Wheelie Bin of Shame as punishment and jointly "write a meaningful letter of apology to the rest of the Housemates."

Later, as the housemates gathered on the sofas, it was left to Lauren to read out the apology letter, whilst Louis sat silently. Probably embarrassed as what was about to be read out. After Lauren had read out the apology, let's just say the reaction wasn't quite what they were both expecting. In fact, the house fell silent as most of the housemates tried their hardest to stop bursting into laughter. I'm looking at you Bradley, David and Zeze.

And who could blame them?! I too at home found myself uncontrollably laughing at the entire situation, so much so that I had to rewind it during the ad break to watch it all over again and ensure that I'd caught every awkward moment.

If you can't understand why the whole thing was so painfully funny, you have to go and watch it. I'd share the clip here, but for some reason they haven't uploaded it to YouTube (*sigh*) so it's off to ITVX you must go if you want to see it.

However, if you want to remind yourself of what they letter said, here it is in all its glory:

To all of the housemates here, we are deeply sorry for any upset that we have caused today. It was totally banter. And we are really really sorry.

Lauren and Louis.

5. "The first housemate to be evicted is..."

Gary Goldsmith becoming the first housemate to be evicted

When Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh put three people in the danger zone on launch night; Gary Goldsmith, David Potts and Zeze Millz, I'd have put money on Gary becoming the first housemate to be evicted. And on Driday night, that's exactly what happened.

After Mrs O chose to spare David and Zeze and put Gary up for the public vote instead, the housemates' nominations saw him go up against Lauren Simon and despite Lauren being at the centre of house tension and drama for the last two episodes, she survived the first public vote after they chose to send Kate MIddleton's Uncle Gary packing.

Booked to speak about the royal family, Gary delivered fairly early on, thanks to a grilling by Fern Britton who understood the assignment as did Ekin-Su who rather directly asked him "Where's Kate?", which of course he couldn't answer fully. But aside from that, he offered very little to that house and had said all he wanted to say, so I think him leaving on Friday was the right result.

My favourite part of his eviction interview? When he said "I don't consider myself to be a celebrity. I happen to be related to someone who is kind of a big celebrity" and AJ looked deadpan, straight to camera. She knows. She gets it.


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