"I talk about my dad's wanking habits, me and my clit when I was four years old, eating two kebabs and vomiting on my own face when I'm drunk - all the cute stuff."
In 2018, Helen Bauer was part of the Pleasance Comedy Reserve which meant that she was able to share the bill at the Pleasance Dome with three other up-and-coming comedians during last year's Edinburgh Festival Fringe. And now a year later, Helen is hoping to make her mark on the industry, with her debut hour, Little Miss Baby Angel Face.
Already one of my 8 most exciting debut shows to watch at this year's Fringe, Helen has recently launched a podcast called Daddy Look at Me with fellow comedian Rosie Jones and during our chat she talks about what audiences can expect from her first hour - and why it might not be the most flattering introduction to her.
Last year you were part of the Pleasance's Comedy Reserve, what was that experience like?
Oh my God are you kidding? The best experience of my life! They give you money and a flat and you get to do 15 minutes of comedy a night. I used to be a tech for The Pleasance and worked there since I was 18 and that's when I watched my first ever comedy shows. So my debut hour is exactly 10 years on from that.
Did you know you wanted to get into comedy at that stage?
I did the year and really wanted to be a comedian but you know when you reach that phase of life where you say what you want to do and you don't do it it's just really embarrassing? That's where I was at so I just pretended that I didn't.
Everyone was like "Do you want to do comedy?" and I was like "Erm, no because I'm not self-centred you fucking losers. Why would I do that? Talk about my own life? How important do I think I am?"
And now all I do is talk about my own life.
How long have you been doing comedy for now then?
Four years exactly now which is why I think now is the right time to debut. It feels very classic. I've done a split hour, I've done a compilation show, I feel like I know the Fringe and I've got a show idea that I really really want to do.
When did you decide that you'd be debuting this year?
As soon as I got the Reserve actually. So May last year. It's the German inside of me which means nothing is done on a whim. I knew I was going to do it. Because it's such a big commitment it's worth thinking about a lot.
Why did you decide to call your show Little Miss Baby Angel Face?
It's adorable right? I just looked at myself in the mirror and I was like "There she is! Little Miss Baby Angel Face." I really like super sickly titles. I don't do this anymore but if an audience didn't laugh I used to think it's because I was too fuckable. They see me and think "She doesn't need to have a personality, she's too good looking."
It happens every now and again to me because I'm so ridiculously attractive. You've probably seen a picture. It's insane right? So I get on and the guys are distracted and the women are just jealous, it's hard for me.
It's just such a ridiculous cutesy name for me to then go on and talk about my dad's wanking habits.
What else can people expect from the show?
It's an introduction to me and I don't think it's very flattering. The show is mainly about my love of tragedy and drama. It is about me and my mum's relationship so I talk about her running a drama school from the house.
I talk about my dad's wanking habits, me and my clit when I was four years old, eating two kebabs and vomiting on my own face when I'm drunk - all the cute stuff. Stuff that makes you go "Who's the baby angel bird? I'll take her home."
How have you found filling the Edinburgh hour?
I'm such a talker that I reckon the show is about an hour and 40 minutes and I've had to cut it down. I'm not saying it's good. It's not an hour and 40 of gold but I can talk and talk and I'll be fine.
Your show is being directed by Phoebe Bourke. How did that come about?
When I got signed to CKP, she was my first ever production meeting and we were sitting in a cafe and realised that we grew up two towns away from each other. Her sister was randomly in the same coffee show and she was literally me. She's perfect. And she's got curly hair so I don't see her as a threat.
Who are you hoping will come and watch the show?
Oh my God how sick would it be if my dad came? But he's definitely not going to. Can I say basic bitches? I live with a basic bitch - Taylor Swift fan, Yankee Candles and mermaid blankets. Reed diffusers! But that's also me. I'm actually looking right now at a Taylor Swift quote that I have on my wall.
What are you most looking forward to about Edinburgh?
Each year you feel more and. more a part of it. I started in Germany so I didn't really know anyone and didn't really know where to go out and I didn't feel part of the comedy community. But each year I go up I get to know more people and feel more a part of it. Which is nice. You feel less self-conscious.
Also, you get to see all your friend's shows. Everyone's in the same city which is great and bad. You don't have to get on any modes of transport and you can walk to all your gigs.
Outside of the Fringe what are you working on?
I've got a new podcast with Rosie Jones called Daddy Look at Me which for some reason, and we interview comedians, actors and directors about how we're searching for attention and when that came about in childhood.
We talk about the things we did for attention, whether that's the attention of someone that they fancied or pretending to break arms because they wanted to get in a cast - I know I went through a phase of that. I really wanted braces for a while and was trying to fashion the paperclip like a classic nineties kid. We've all done it and the podcast sees us go into those things.
It came about because me and Rosie love attention and we get guests on who love attention so it's essentially three people talking over each other.
Finally, how would you sum up this year's show in just five words?
Super fucking cute comedy. HELEN!
Helen Bauer: Little Miss Baby Angel Face runs from 31st July - 25th August (not 14th) at 6pm at the Pleasance Courtyard (Bunker One). Book tickets here.