I TALK TO Keith Lemon

Following a successful first series, Keith Lemon is back on ITV2 from Thursday 4th February with a second series of The Keith Lemon Sketch Show, with a host of new characters as well as some old favourites.

As regular readers of this blog will know, I love nothing more than a good ol’ natter with Mr Lemon, so when I found out that the new series of The Keith Lemon Sketch Show was just around the corner, I knew it was time for a catch-up!

It was on the sad day that David Bowie passed away, that I headed into Central London to chat to Keith, who was wearing red shoes in tribute to the late singer, and he began by talking about the much loved singer and a tweet he’d posted that morning...

Well I had an experience and someone tweeted me saying "Re-read your tweet and look at yourself in the mirror", I went why? and they said "self-promotion"! And I thought no I'm not, I'm just telling the experience of David Bowie that I had.

Isn't all Twitter self promotion? So I thought, why do I care what you had for dinner... BLOCK! So much blockage and mutage on Twitter. It's full of fucking pricks ain't it?! (Laughs)

It's horrible when there's nice people and you go, oh I do want to stay on it because they're nice. There's a lady who tweets me every single day and sends me gifts, she's nice.

So, onto the series now then. New series, new characters?

Loads! So many that I can't even remember! I might have to get me phone out to have a look at some of the pictures I tweet for self-promotion...

(Keith then gets his phone out). This will be easier than me going "Erm...". Sorry, I'm rubbish aren't I? It's because of the Christmas break, I wipe it all out of my mind.

(Having now found the right folder in his phone) Emma Willis is in there, Nick Grimshaw, Rita Ora, George Lucas, Russell Brand, Noel Fielding, Ellie Goulding & Dougie Pointer, Caroline Flack & Olly Murs, Jessie J, Paloma Faith, Prince, and Mick Hucknall.

With him we've done Neighbours From Hell. Imagine living next door to Mick Hucknall?! I'm a Simply Red fan and went to see him over Christmas, but he doesn't come across as the happiest man, I don't think.

So this couple move in next door to Mick Hucknall, but it's horrible so they move away and move next door to Paul Weller... and he's even worse, and I've met him. I enjoy his misery though.

Another thing we’ve done is, you know Educating Yorkshire? We’ve done Educating Hogwarts, Harry Potter is a little bastard in it.

Oh and Gail Platt, she’s good. We’ve done Gail Platt vs Predator. Little Mix, we do One Direction vs Little Mix on Family Fortunes and Emily Atack plays Jessy amazingly!

Is Paddy McGuinness back?

Yes. Me and Paddy are doing lots of films again, one of them is Toy Story. We do Rocky (he then shows me a brilliant pic of him as Rocky on his phone), and then we swap roles because actually Paddy makes a better Rocky than I do.

What about the Urban Fox?

The fox is back! He had a friend that was a hedgehog, that died, but then he looks at another hedgehog and is convinced that it's the same one, but the hedgehog gets vexed because he says "Everyone thinks we all look the same"!

He's palier with the dog this time, because he realises that there aren't many other animals on the street who can talk so they've become friends. He's also friends with a tortoise!

Are there any characters who aren’t back?

We haven’t done Ed Sheehan again this time, because we feel like we’ve done him. A lot of people said they wanted Trollbusters with Phillip Schofield to come back, but we’re not doing that because that was just one idea really. But we did want Phillip Schofield back because he’s such a good sport, and it’s nice to have television establishment in your show.

We haven’t done any Star Wars stuff in this one. We did loads in the first series, and had Carrie Fisher in... which is bad timing. (Laughs) But that’s probably why we got her, before Star Wars came out.

How do you come up with the ideas for the characters and the sketches?

Again, I'm all about self promotion! Haha. I'm really self-indulgent. I went on holiday, and that's when you get most of your ideas, when you're not doing anything.

It's like a curse, and then I came back when we were starting and said right, this is how I want to do it this series, I just want to tell you everyone that I want to be. I don't know what the idea is for who yet, although some of them I had an idea, so I just went "I want to be Frankenstein, I want to be Mick Hucknall, I want to be Paloma Faith"... so we wrote all of these names and characters on the wall and then decided what we could do with those people.

That's how this series worked, and I think it leans a lot more towards celebrity than the first one. We don't just want to lampoon celebrities, but we do this thing called 'Spotted' which is totally ripped out of Heat magazine, where we get characters and just go, Spotted!

It was a good way of discovering new characters, because sometimes a character would happen whilst we were filming. We did Russell Brand spotted in a park and then thought we need to do more Russell Brand, so we did.

The same with George Lucas, we did a show where George Lucas says the funniest things, hosted by Phillip Schofield. He's back.

Anyone that has slagged me off I will never do. Me mam always said, "if you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't say it at all!"

Do you let the celebrities know that they're going to appear in the series?

Yeah. This time I've text pictures of people I've done, to the people that I had phone numbers of. Just so that they don't get all vexed and worried.

Most people were flattered. Emma Willis said she felt like she'd arrived! So that was flattering to me also I guess. With Emma Wills we do Spotted! in B&Q buying padlocks, and what's weird is that I sent her a picture, and you couldn't see B&Q in the background, and she replied saying "Am I in B&Q?!"

I went "Do you recognise the shelves in B&Q?" she went "I love B&Q!" But I think we all go through that stage in our lives where we all go to either Homebase or B&Q just looking at padlocks and man stuff, just to make us feel manly. I know I do. And then when someone comes up to me asking if I need any help, I go "No, just looking" and I am just looking. I'm not going to buy anything! I bought a drill, and I've never drilled.

What about the celebrities from the first series then? Did they all take it well?

Mark Wright was a bit panicky, but then he told me that he thought it was hilarious, but I knew from another source that he was panicking! But he shouldn't be, because again, it's everyone I like.

I send the pics to Holly (Willoughby) and she says that I look better than she does some days... which I never do, because I’ve got a ‘tache! She finds it funny I think, if she didn’t she’d say and I probably wouldn’t do it.

I know the Kardashians are back too... What about Caitlyn Jenner?

I wanted to, but the producer didn't want to for obvious reasons, offending the transgender community, and I thought well if we do it sensitively we won't. But if we don't do it then I'd be offended if I was transgender, because I'm sure they've got senses of humour like people who are not transgender.

Then the commissioner said "You've got to do something", so we did. I said that we should get an attractive lady to play Caitlyn when she leaves Bruce. Obviously I'm Bruce, but when she becomes Caitlyn it's Ashley Roberts, but with my voice.

But Ashley doesn't know that we're going to be outing my voice over the top! And I'm not telling her! (Laughs) She did Back To Future Tribute with us and said she’d love to do mo